Blood Beyond Darkness Read online

“You know what I mean,” he grumbled.

  “You’re staying here and protecting people like Marguerite and Rez, which is a huge job.”

  There would be protection spells on the property, but if the wall came down, the enchantments would be rendered useless, leaving the house and people who needed to stay back vulnerable. Marguerite and Rez could handle themselves, but we needed Jared to believe his was a legitimate duty.

  “Dude, my girlfriend gets to go into battle, and I have to stay home with the babysitter. It’s not fair.” Jared banged his fist on the table. Sometimes I could see and feel the age difference between them. Kennedy had grown so much. She’d always been advanced well beyond her years, but Jared and Kennedy had still seemed to see eye to eye. Now Kennedy’s furrowed brow revealed she might also be feeling the years growing between them.

  “When has life ever been fair?” Lorcan rolled his figure between his fingers.

  Jared’s chest expanded, the muscles in his face twitching. “Fuck off.”

  “Jared, stop it.” Kennedy’s massaged her temple. “You know if I could stay back, I would, believe me.”

  “Yeah, but they need you.” Jared spat at Kennedy, his eyes narrowing on her. “You are ‘special’ in a good way. I’m only a nuisances and a liability, but they can’t do without you.”

  “Hey!” Lorcan’s voice boomed through the room. “That’s enough, Jared. You’re mad at the situation, at me. Don’t take it out on Kennedy.” Lorcan’s hand touched Kennedy’s lower back protectively. It was only an instant before he noticed what he did and dropped his arm. But it was enough.

  Time froze for a breath, and tension grew in the room until it exploded all over the walls, peeling away in chunks.

  With a roar, Jared flew at Lorcan, at the same instant Eli sprung and blocked Jared from reaching Lorcan. “Whoa.” Eli grabbed Jared’s shoulders.

  “Get out of my way, Eli,” Jared snapped, his hazel eyes burning a dark red color.

  “You need to calm down, J.” Eli gripped Jared’s arms tighter, restraining his push forward.

  “How about you fuck off, too! You are really no different. You also treat me like a kid. I am almost nineteen!” His face twisted in fury at Eli, and then it turned back to Lorcan. “And you keep your hands off my girlfriend. Why are you touching her? She is mine. Not yours!”

  The possessive tone did not go unnoticed by Kennedy. Her brows slid down at an angle. “Jared. Stop.” She moved in front of Lorcan, trying to be in Jared’s sight line, but his head kept twisting and craning to the side to keep his target in view.

  “Why in the hell are you even here anyway? Shouldn’t you run back to the Queen like the trained lap dog you are?” I could hear the influence of Eli in every insult Jared flung at Lorcan.

  Lorcan clenched his jaw but didn’t move from his spot.

  “Why don’t you leave, Lorcan? No one wants you here. No one likes you.” Jared fought against Eli’s hold.

  “Please, Jared.” Kennedy took another tentative step closer.

  “You want him to go, too, don’t you?” Jared’s chin flicked over towards Lorcan. “I know you can’t stand him anymore than the rest of us. Tell him.”

  “Jared ...” Kennedy clasped her hands together, her eyes wide with pleading.

  “Dammit, Ken, tell him!”

  Her mouth opened and shut.

  Jared rocked back on his heels. Eli’s hands dropped away from him as Jared’s confusion turned quickly to realization. His shoulders sagged, pain pinching the muscles in his face.

  “Jared, I ...” Kennedy reached for him.

  He jerked away. “Don’t!”

  She drew her hand back, holding it against her chest. Kennedy’s eyes reflected the unshed tears building under her lids.

  “I get it now.” Anger filled Jared’s voice.

  “No.” Kennedy’s head shook. “You don’t.”

  “I must have been blind not to see it.” Jared’s body was rigid, his tone vicious. “Did you enjoy making a fool of me? Leading me on? Pretending you cared?”

  “What are you talking about? I love you.” Kennedy still clung to her wrist, keeping it tight to her body.

  Jared ignored Kennedy and resumed. “Him?” He pointed at Lorcan. “Really? You’d rather be with him?”

  “No.” Kennedy shook her head.

  “It’s not what you are thinking,” Lorcan said behind Kennedy.

  “Shut up!” Jared seethed. “You don’t get to talk.”

  We all stayed silent as Jared stared at Kennedy and Lorcan before he swore under his breath and headed for the stairs.

  “Jared?” Kennedy turned to follow him.

  He continued to storm up the stairs, without a glance back. Kennedy’s feet shuffled tentatively after him. “Jared ...”

  “Let him go. He needs to cool off,” Eli said to Kennedy. “He’s got the hot Irish temper like the rest of us. He’ll be fine once he calms down.”

  Kennedy half turned toward Eli and nodded. Her lips trembled, her eyes heavy with liquid. She took a breath but could no longer hold back the stream of tears. Her hand went to her mouth, a sob erupting from her lips. She whirled towards the hallway leading to the bathrooms and ran.

  “Shit.” Lorcan mumbled rubbing his forehead, and his head turned to where Kennedy disappeared. “Maybe I should go talk to him.”

  “No!” Both Eli and I said in unison.

  “Tell him it’s not like that.” Lorcan waved his hand in the direction of Kennedy.

  “It’s not?” Eli crossed his arms, his gaze locked on Lorcan. “Jared would see through the lie.”

  Lorcan’s chest filled with air, his mouth opened, holding Eli’s gaze. He appeared to be about to protest Eli’s claim. Then he locked his jaw, and his eyes darted to the side. Lorcan’s movement was so minimal, I almost didn’t notice it, but his head dipped slightly in acknowledgment. I was sure Kennedy cared about Lorcan more than she let on, but I didn’t know how serious her feelings were. It was clear, Lorcan’s were deep.

  “You will only make it worse right now.” Eli ran his hand over his hair, his attention on the door. “I’ll go.”

  “And I’ll check on Kennedy.” I was already halfway across the room, heading for the hallway.

  It didn’t take me long to find her. When I turned the corner, she was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall. There was no way she didn’t hear what we had said. I slid down the wall and sat next to her. My shoulder bumped hers. “You all right?”

  She let her knees fall, tucked her legs underneath, and balled her hands in her lap. Tears slid down her face. “Not really.”

  “I am so sorry, Ken.” I placed my head on her shoulder. “You didn’t deserve that.”

  Her shoulders shook with a silent sob. “Don’t I?”

  I lifted my head and waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, I finally asked, “Did something happen with you and Lorcan?”

  Her head stayed bowed, her hands coming to her face. “I am a horrible person, aren’t I?”

  Oh, holy crap on ash bark. It’s true.

  My chest constricted, but I forced my own emotions to the side. “No, of course you’re not.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. “You’re human Ken ... well mostly,” I teased. “We all make mistakes, but we get up, brush ourselves off, and try to learn from our mishaps. Or so I’ve heard.”

  She wiped frantically at her eyes. “That’s the thing Em ...”

  Shit.

  “You don’t feel it was a mistake?”

  “No. Yes. I don’t know.” Her head went back, tapping the wall. “I love Jared, but I feel a huge gap between us now. I’ve changed, and maybe he has, also. But in whatever way we have changed, it is pulling us apart. Not together. I’ve been feeling it for a long time now, but I’ve been trying to ignore it. I thought we could get through; we could make it work.”

  “So what happened with Lorcan?”

  Her ponytail brushed against the wall as she
moved her head back and forth. “I don’t want to talk about Lorcan. What’s going on has nothing to do with him.”

  “Nothing to do with him?” I echoed as I turned my body to face her. “It has everything to do with him.”

  “No. This situation has to do with me and Jared and me being honest with myself.” Her face was streaked with tears, but her eyes were now dry. “The last thing I want to do is hurt Jared, but I can’t lie to myself, either.”

  “No, you can’t,” I agreed. “That wouldn’t be fair to either of you.”

  She placed her hand over mine and squeezed my hand. She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t need to. We had been friends too long for me not to feel her love and thanks.

  “You’re not going to tell me what happened?” I peered through my lashes at Kennedy.

  “I need to figure some things out on my own first. Okay?” She replied, taking back her hand. Her fingers twined around each other, knotting on her lap.

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  She shook out her fingers and pushed herself onto her feet. I stood with her.

  “There is no doubt I love Jared. I simply don’t know if it is enough to keep us together.”

  “Lorcan?” I tried again.

  She sighed. “I care for him. A lot. I don’t know what it means yet, though. I won’t deny I am drawn to him. But I will do whatever it takes to have it work with Jared.”

  My stomach dropped hearing her confessions. I could not deny Lorcan had changed since I first met him. To me there was little doubt Kennedy was the reason. I still felt sick at the thought she wanted to be with Lorcan. But I didn’t want her to stay with Jared because she felt she should.

  Whatever her choice, I would be there for her. She was my friend, and her happiness came first.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  The following couple of days were a blur of strategic fights, preparations, and running drills over and over. Kennedy hadn’t spoken to me about what was going on with her and Jared, but the tension between them was obvious. Before, they were constantly touching and kissing, being all gooey and sweet. Now, they stood a number of feet apart. On breaks, they would be near each other, but they were either silent or quietly arguing. It broke my heart to see them quarreling. It hurt even more to think they were trying to force a relationship no longer working, for either of them. Sadly, with the war so close, their relationship woes were not high on their priority list.

  On the last day before Samhain, our group—which included Dark Dwellers, Demons, and Kennedy, Cal, Simmons, and me—stationed ourselves on a back lot of Lars’ property, away from the other training Fae. Lars put me in charge, wanting me to get used to the leadership role. I did not feel comfortable being the one in command, although I had always taken care of myself and dealt with what I needed to. Leading a mass of people who were better trained and had more knowledge and experience was daunting and awkward. Watching Lars and Cole, I realized a good leader recognizes limitations and delegates. Kennedy was a huge help in dividing people; her seer insight could pick out their strengths and weaknesses.

  Alki, Koke, Nic, and Maya were to lead the main battle on the field with Lars and the rest of the thousands of Dark Fae who had been training here. Only a handful of us would be making our way to the castle. Thara, Dominic, Dax, and Samantha were in the first group who were to hold off the opposing side. They would be our most important defense, so the rest of us could get around the main battle and closer to the castle. The next unit contained Cooper, West, Owen, and Gabby who were to hold the line of Seelie back. The final team helping us break inside consisted of Lorcan and Cole. Eli and Torin would be the ones to take Kennedy and me, along with two pixies, all the way to the room where the Sword of Light remained hidden. Thanks to the raven, I had some idea where it was. And with Torin’s intimate knowledge of the castle, he knew ways of getting into the room none of the rest of us had.

  Rez and Marguerite planned a “last” meal on the night before Samhain. My stomach did flip flops with the mere thought of food. Without uttering a word, we knew it could be our final moments together. If we lost the war, it would be the last dinner for all of us.

  It was an amazing thing to see—my Demon family alongside my Dark Dweller family. No one would have believed these groups could be working so closely together, let alone eating a meal, laughing, and telling stories with each other. There was tension in the air. Old prejudices don’t go away overnight, but the fact they were all here together was enough. They were gathered because of me—the unexpected adhesive bringing these two groups together.

  Lars sat at the head of the table, Rez to his right, Marguerite’s open chair to his left. Alki and Koke sat next to Rez with Nic and Maya on Marguerite’s other side. Kennedy and I were across from each other in the middle, the buffers and the connections between the factions. Eli, Cooper, West, and Cole sat on the same side as me. Jared, Owen, and Gabby sat on Kennedy’s side. Lars made sure there was no other “head” of the table. He was King and wanted to keep his role clear.

  Marguerite brought a steaming bowl from the kitchen. Cal and Simmons trailed closely behind, following the scent of the dish like they were on a leash. Cal’s time in the kitchen following Sinnie around had bonded him and Marguerite.

  “You sure you don’t want to add some berries to the top of it?” Cal fluttered around the dish. “I think it would really advance the flavor.”

  “And your alcohol tolerance.” Kennedy laughed. Sets of eyes turned to look at her. The quiet mouse was roaring like a lion lately. I loved it, but it still took me aback, forgetting the strong change in her, especially since returning with Lorcan’s team.

  Cal only nodded. “Exactly.”

  Simmons flittered down next to my plate. “Cal, if you advance anymore tonight, I’ll have to retrieve you out of the toilet. Again.”

  “I fell in. And it happened one time.” Cal swung around, flying to me. “Okay, okay, twice.”

  Cal landed beside Simmons and drew his arms around his friend’s shoulder. “What would you do without me?”

  “Probably be respectable.”

  “Phhhhtttt.” Cal disregarded this notion. “Respectable maybe, but bored out of your mind.”

  Simmons tilted his head and sighed deeply. We both knew Cal was right.

  Marguerite placed the dish she was carrying near Lars. His back relaxed into the chair, and he regarded us as if we were his subjects.

  “I smell molé.” Nic rubbed his hands together. Catching my eye, he gave a wink. I smiled back. Nic would always be Nic.

  Marguerite swatted at his hand as he tried to grab for the dish, uttering something in Spanish to him. I smiled at the familiarity of Nic and Marguerite bantering. Her adoration for him was so clear it put tears in my eyes.

  It struck me as I glanced around the table watching everyone together, in a warped way, this was what a holiday would be like with my newly blended families: laughter, vast amounts of drinking, and massive discussions between the sides. What holidays were all about, right? It seemed like the perfect idea to me. Except it would probably never come to pass.

  I gripped Eli’s hand harder under the table. He looked over, giving me a faint smile, his thumb running over the back of mine. We didn’t need words. He was aware of our odds. He just wasn’t aware of his.

  I could sense Lars glaring into me. My head popped up to look down the extended table. His expression was clear. You will do this. He will die either way. Quickly by someone he loves or by someone who will force him to suffer for a dreadfully long time.

  My lips pressed together, and my gaze jerked back to my plate.

  “Um ... my hand.” Eli’s voice shot into my ear. My gaze jerked over to his lap, realizing I clutched his hand in a death grip.

  “Sorry.” I released it.

  His brow curved up. “You okay?”

  A gruff snort barked from my throat. “Oh, yeah. Awesome.” I grabbed the beer in front of him and downed it. I could not hide a frown of displeasure at the
acrid taste. “Uck.”

  Eli stared at me.

  “What?”

  “Beside the point you drank beer?” He leaned back farther in his chair, which creaked as though it might not hold. “You drank my beer and didn’t even appreciate it like it deserved. That was a limited brew from Bruges.”

  I picked up the bottle and shrugged. “It still tasted like troll piss.”

  Eli made a squeak of offense.

  “It’s special troll piss.” I patted his arm. “Better?”

  His hair brushed his shoulders as he shook his head. “You are gonna pay for insulting and disregarding my beer.”

  “Put it on my tab.” I leaned in closer to him.

  “Your account is going to be paid in full tonight,” he mumbled against my ear.

  “Seriously?” Gabby declared from across the table. “I’m eating here. Or at least trying to.”

  In true Eli fashion, merely to torment his sister more, he pulled my face to his and kissed me sloppily, making annoying smacking sounds.

  “Ewww.” I laughed and pulled back as Eli licked the side of my face.

  “Elighan!” Gabby threw a tortilla at him.

  He grabbed it midair and stuffed it into his mouth. Munching happily, he smirked across the table at his sister. Gabby glared and stuck her tongue out at him. It was like a step into their past. I could see them so clearly as kids, taunting each other till someone became truly mad. Probably poor Cole.

  Family and siblings. I had missed out, even though I’d had Mom and Mark. Now I was finally part of a huge extended family, and I was so afraid it would be taken from me. I loved every one of them. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

  Lars cleared his throat, standing. “Before we start to eat, or dinner turns into a food fight, I want to thank Marguerite for once again making our delicious dinner.” He gave her a nod as she slipped into her seat, setting down the last dish.

  “I do not know how I survived before Marguerite came to this house.” Lars’ voice or face did not show emotion, but he spoke the words warmly and fondly. A Demon showing any kind of sentiment was a rarity in itself.