Dwellers of Darkness (Darkness Series #3) Page 25

  I saw the edges of my mother’s mouth turn down, but she quickly caught herself and nodded along with Kennedy. Gabby had grown up around boys. The only other girl in their group was Samantha, and something told me they didn’t have slumber parties or hang out and watch movies, braiding each other’s hair. Or in Gabby’s case dying each other’s hair. She had trouble interacting with other females, and I didn’t think she wanted to. I was starting to believe I was wrong.

  “Now I see what you are really up to when you claim to be “healing.” She stood across from me, making quotes in the air.

  “You wouldn’t believe the healing powers of wine.” Mom stroked the wine bottle like a precious jewel.

  “Sit down, Gabby.” I patted the dirt next to me. “You can share mine.” I handed her the coffee cup.

  “That’s nice of you, Ember. Sharing.” Mom patted my leg like I was five years old.

  “Like hell. This is my cup now.” I grabbed the remains of the bottle.

  “Hey!” Kennedy swatted at me, giggling. “Not fair.”

  “I’ll share. Geez, lady.” I laughed back. Gabby held onto the coffee cup, her back stiff as her eyes darted between Kennedy and me. This was all very foreign to her, I could tell. Having “girlfriends” and being silly was not something she understood.

  We worked our way through the bottle, and soon Kennedy was standing on a rock with her glass. “Hey, world, I am a Druid. Doooo youuu hear me? A Druid. I do magic and live centuries.” She hiccupped. “And I am proud to be one.”

  “Good for you, Ken. Come out of your metaphysical Druid closet.” I stumbled to her. Homemade Greek wine was a lot more potent than I expected.

  “Come here.” She waved to me. “You, too!” She pointed at Gabby.

  Gabby shook her head. “My tolerance is too high to do stupid shit this early. Give me an hour or two.”

  “Pffffttt.” Kennedy swished her hand at Gabby, making herself almost fall over.

  I climbed up the boulder. Somewhere inside me I knew this was probably a bad idea. My drunken brain ignored this thought, and I stood next to Kennedy.

  “Come on, Em, do it. Yell it out. It feels good.”

  “I’m proud to be a Druid,” I screamed. My mom sat on the ground hunched over with laughter.

  Kennedy swiped at me. “Come on, for real.”

  “I am a Dae.” I shuffled my feet higher on the rock.

  “That. Was. Pathetic.” Kennedy bobbed and weaved into me.

  I took in a breath. “I am proud to be a Dae!” I bellowed. Hearing myself say the words hit something deep in me. I did like being a Dae. It’s who I am. I was proud of my heritage and of Daes like Brycin who died for a cause she believed in, for family and friends, for me. I did not want to take it lightly.

  An elated smile beamed from me. The gratified feeling lasted but a second before my balance went south. Kennedy and I collided. With a strangled cry, our legs and arms entangled, and we both plummeted from the boulder crashing to the soft soil.

  “Owww,” I grunted, and Kennedy rolled over with a groan.

  “Now that shit was worth coming here for.” Gabby tipped her glass at us and downed the rest.

  “Are you guys okay?” Mom ran to us. Her voice sounded tight, as she tried not to laugh.

  “Yeah. Not feeling so proud anymore,” I grumbled, spitting dirt out of my mouth.

  Mom let loose, howling. “Oh, no, Ember, that truly is you. And I am so proud of my klutzy, Dae daughter.”

  “Oh, man...” Kennedy lifted her head and looked at the cup still in her hand. “I spilled my wine.”

  Laughter echoed from the cliffs, bouncing off the sun-soaked rocks and surrounding us. We all laughed till tears drenched our faces.

  “Jumpin’ junipers. They can probably hear you girls in the Otherworld,” Cal and Simmons flew to us. Cal landed on my leg. Simmons’ feet skidded across the ground till he came to a stop, slamming into my back.

  “My lady.” Simmons pushed away from my shirt, straightening his shoulders as he came around to face me. “The Unseelie King is asking for you to limit your volume.”

  Cal grunted. “I think his exact words were ‘Tell them to shut the hell up before I go there and shut them up myself.’”

  I knew there was a real danger of spies being around, but telling drunken people to be quiet was like asking Eli not to be a sarcastic dick. Not gonna happen. I smiled warmly at the thought of him, suddenly wanting to find him.

  Drunk and horny. Just the way he likes me.

  “We probably should get back. The sun is going down.” Mom picked up her cup and the empty bottle. Her cheeks were flushed with alcohol.

  “Ahhh, things were just getting good.” Gabby frowned, standing up. She was still pretty sober, but was relaxed enough I could see a little chink in her armor.

  “Did you spill some?” Cal pointed at the wet spot on the dirt.

  “Um... yeah. We fell.” Kennedy stumbled as she tried to stand, pointing to the top of the boulder where we had been.

  “You wasted alcohol?” Cal’s already high voice went up an octave. I cringed at the high pitch. “Glorious, beautiful, magnificent juice of the grapes... lost forever.” He went over and patted the wet dirt.

  “Come on, Cal, I am sure there is more at camp.” I stood. Well, I tried. It took me a few tries to officially stand.

  Picking his hand up from the damp spot, he licked it. With a groan I turned to follow everyone else.

  Mom came to me and seized my arm, letting everyone else get ahead of us. “Ember.” She turned to face me. “I know we haven’t had a chance to talk.” She swallowed, looked away from me, and whispered, “I am extremely sorry. I know you must hate me, and I completely understand if you do. I thought at the time I was protecting you. I had no right to keep you from your uncle or from yourself.”

  Whether it was the wine or because my heart understood her actions more, I wasn’t as mad at her right then. I wrapped my arms around her. “I know, Mom.”

  She hugged me back, a sob heaving in her chest. “You are my whole world. The thought of something happening to you...”

  I squeezed her tighter.

  We stayed like that for a while. When she pulled back, she looked directly into my eyes. “When this is all over, we will sit and talk. There is so much I need to explain and tell you—”

  I didn’t let her finish. “Mom, I’m so happy to have you back. And right now all I want is my mom. We’ll worry about the rest later.”

  She nodded, her eyes glistening with pride. “You amaze me every day. You have grown into such an incredible woman.”

  “I take after you.”

  Three out of four of us woke hung-over, sore, and completely useless. Gabby relished in this by clanging pots louder and being a lot more “peppy” than I ever thought her capable of.

  Bitch.

  We soon found out that magic and hangovers didn’t work well together. With Kennedy and me out of commission, Lars took off. He was pissed, but it wasn’t the first time he left us. He would disappear sometimes. We had no idea what he was doing, or going, but it gave us a free afternoon to relax or explore.

  There was something about this area besides the magic it held that drew me close. My real father had been born and raised here so maybe it was in my soul to love this land. The terrain was breathtaking and unique. Our campsite held court high on a mountain with the valley and river cutting through and around stone peaks below.

  I wandered away from camp craving to be by myself and reflect. Wind tickled my face, tangling my hair around my head. Deep, burning red and orange adorned the sky as the sun left us for the other side of the world. I sat and stared at the breathtaking scenery before me. Sandstone pinnacles covered with green vegetation protruded from the landscape till they dropped off into the valley far in the distance.

  Sighing happily, I reached for my backpack. I hadn’t lost the habit of toting a small drawing pad with me. I tugged it and a pencil from my bag and began to dra
w. My hand flew over the page. It was like coming home. It had been so long since I sketched. So much had gotten in the way of something I loved almost as much as breathing. This was therapy for me, and it helped me center myself and get prospective.

  I sat there losing myself in creating and forgot everything around me except the scenery and my art pad.

  “Good to see you drawing again.” Eli nipped at me ear.

  “Holy shit!” I jumped, slipping forward. His hands grabbed my waist keeping me from plunging to a certain rocky death. Or at least a painful experience. “You really need to stop sneaking up. One of these times you are actually going to send me over the ledge. Literally.”

  He grunted, softly kissing the curve of my neck. “The family and I are gonna go for a hunt. You want to come?”

  “Nah. I’m really enjoying drawing right now.” I looked over my shoulder at him.

  “Okay.” He gave me a quick kiss and stood. “I’ll be back later.” He gazed down at me. Be prepared. You know how I get after a hunt.

  “Okay, have fun.” I smiled. Looking forward to it.

  Eli slipped through the foliage and vanished. I shook off the shiver of desire going through me and returned my focus to my drawing. The oranges in the sky blended into the reds, the reds melted into dark blue-violet. Beautiful.

  So are you. A voice spoke into my head.

  I twisted and peered at him. “Eavesdropping?”

  Torin stepped forward. His black shirt snuggled against the muscles in his chest. His hair hung loose and blew in the wind. He took my breath away. The man was so beautiful he rivaled the scenery before me.

  “I apologize, Ember. I did not mean to intrude.”

  “No, it’s okay.” I patted the spot next to me. “Join me.”

  He hesitated but came toward me, sitting on the spot where my hand had been. “I mean it. You are beautiful.”

  “Torin...” My heart burned with guilt. “Please, don’t say things like that.

  “Why?” His eyes bored into me.

  “Because...” I shifted my gaze, looking at the darkening sunset. “Because you are making this even more difficult.”

  He sucked air through his teeth. “How am I making this hard? I am the one who has to watch you and Dragen.”

  My fingers pressed the bridge of my nose. “I hate causing you pain, and I hate that you are so nice and honorable about all this. You’re too good.”

  Torin turned his body toward mine. “Would you prefer me to be a jerk like Dragen? You like being treated appallingly and disrespected?”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I am not such a man, Ember. I will only adore you. Honor you. You deserved to be cherished.”

  Exactly. Like a doll or keepsake. “What about just loving me?” I responded.

  He blinked. “Well, loving you goes without saying.”

  “No, it really doesn’t.” I brushed my hair back away from my face. “I don’t doubt you mean every word, and the girl you end up with will be the luckiest in the world, but...”

  “But you are not that girl.”

  My chest clenched. There was a part of me which wanted to say yes, I was. The bond wanted to claim it. It tugged at my gut, twisting it to act. Yet the pull did not claim my heart. It was like it had been programmed in my brain. But when I thought about it, I realized it really wasn’t what I wanted. Still not trusting myself to speak, I shook my head.

  “Look at me.” I didn’t respond to his plea. Fingers came up to my chin, turning my face to his. “Every night the Queen tortured me, I thought of you. That is what got me through. Your face gave me hope to keep living. To keep fighting.” His blue eyes stared into mine with such longing and love it ripped away all my will power. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t stop it. The warmth of his lips on mine was so familiar; it was like they had been meant for me. His mouth moved against mine, his tongue parting my lips.

  No! My soul yanked on my heart and brain. “No. I can’t.” I stood and moved away.

  He followed. “Why?” Something seemed to snap in him. He clenched his fists at his sides. “I have been extremely patient. I have watched and endured you degrading yourself with Dragen over and over. A man can only take so much. You are obviously not seeing the truth fast enough. This comes to an end.” His shoulders squared off, demanding my obedience. “You are with me now.” He reached for me.

  I pulled back and put more distance between us. “Excuse me? With you now? You have no say about whom I’m with. I am not someone you can control and order around, even if we were together. It is not who I am.” I shrieked each word with venom, anger charged through my muscles.

  This change in Torin was getting harder to sympathize with. The emotional scars of being mentally, physically, sexually tortured had changed him. He was so quick to anger. I wanted to be there for him. To understand. But he was making it exceptionally difficult. I took in a shaky breath. “I care about you. I always will. But it will never be in the way you want.”

  Anger flashed in his eyes. “Dragen has so much hold you on that you can’t see the truth. He will hurt you and eventually grow bored and leave. I have seen him do this to others over the years.” Torin threw his arms up. “We would be good together. I would take care of you, protect you always.”

  “There it is again. Duty. Honor,” I hurled at him, rubbing at my forehead.

  “And what is wrong with those things?” His breath sounded ragged, his lids narrowing. He shifted closer.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head, moving away. I needed to get away from this situation and him. “But it’s not what I want. Neither of us would be truly happy in the end. I am sorry, but I don’t want to be with you. Please, let me go.” Not giving him a chance to answer, I whipped around and ran.

  “Ember,” Torin yelled after me.

  I was leaving the man whom I should probably be standing on a cliff at sunset with and heading for the man I had chosen, who was probably tearing into a bloody deer carcass at the moment. I was such a romantic.

  Kennedy’s words had been right: You have one, and the other has you.

  Eli had me. Completely.

  That night around the campfire, I sat between Mom and Josh. Torin sat next to Thara across from me. I could feel his heated glare, challenging me to look at him. Eli simply watched with a curved eyebrow. He sensed something was off, but I didn’t want to talk to him until we were alone. I didn’t feel guilt but disappointment in my weakness for Torin because I kept letting it continue. Even though I wasn’t in love with Torin, my feelings weren’t cut and dry. I couldn’t just turn them off.

  It wasn’t until Eli and I settled into our tent later when I came clean—or tried to.

  “Eli... I...”

  His eyes burned into mine, and he frowned. “Was the next part of your sentence going to be ‘made out with Torin’ by any chance?”

  My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open. His fingers reached up to click my jaw shut.

  “H-ho-how did you know?” I stumbled over my words.

  “I can smell him on you.” Eli put his arms behind his head, lying back on the pillow.

  “Okay, I’m gonna jump over the creep factor and get to the point.” My lids restricted, looking critically at him lying there seemingly relaxed. “So you’re okay with it?”

  He shrugged. “I really don’t have a right to say anything.”

  Anger pumped into me. “So you don’t give a shit who I kiss? What about who I sleep with? Does that matter at all?”

  Eli opened his mouth to speak, but the train of my fury was already coasting down the tracks.

  “What in the hell are we doing then? Are you going to get bored of me and toss me over for another soon? God, I’m so stupid. I am the girl who gets the bad boy and thinks she’ll be the one to change him. I thought we were in this together, you and me.” My rage only escalated as Eli covered his mouth and tried not to laugh. “What the hell are you laughing at? You think this is funny? Is watching me
lose it good for your ego?”

  “Honestly... yeah, but that’s not why I’m laughing.” He sat up.

  My rant was over, but the simmering rage underneath slowly rose to a boil. “Oh, please, enlighten me.”

  Eli’s expression turned serious. “Believe me if I had smelled him on any other part of you besides your lips, there would be one less Fairy in the world.” He kept his eyes on the wall of the tent. “I have never let myself feel jealousy. It is one emotion that strikes my animal side, and I need to control it. It takes a lot to switch it on, but when it happens, there is no stopping me. I will kill.”

  I gulped. He had my undivided attention as he continued. “I am not your warden or your mom. You can make your own decisions. I have given up ever trying to control you. I know you will do what is right for you in the end whether it’s me or Torin.”

  My mouth fell open again.

  “Don’t get me wrong. If it does end up Torin, I will battle him to the death. Until then...” He lay down again. “Besides what I really mean is after the Natasha thing I figured you had a freebie.”

  A half-amused, half-confused puff of air escaped my lips. “Really? You mean that?”

  He scoffed, “Hell, no, Brycin. If he kisses you or even gets near you again, I will tear him apart. I’m not kidding. I still might.”

  With a bemused laugh I grabbed my pillow, thumping it down on Eli.

  The next morning Lars bellowed across the campsite, breaking the early morning calm.

  “You,” he roared, pointing at Kennedy. “Get over here.”

  Her eyes widened for an instance as she popped off the log. She then stopped, hands going to her hips. Her chin went up. “I have a name, you know, besides girl or Druid.”

  The whole camp froze. No one talked back to the Unseelie King. Well, except me, but that felt slightly different, since I was family.

  Lars watched her carefully for an instant before he nodded. “I apologize. Ms. Johnson, if you could come here and assist me.”

  He still wasn’t asking, nevertheless, my eyes opened wide in shock. This tiny five-foot-nothing, ninety-pound girl just put the Unseelie King in his place and won. Holy crap! With all that happened to Kennedy since discovering about herself, she now had a strength in her even Lars couldn’t deny.