Blood Beyond Darkness Read online

  Ignoring his words, I reached out again, swinging and grunting.

  “Shhhh,” Lars murmured in my ear, and his grip turned into more of a tight hug. “Calm down.”

  The simple difference in his touch broke something in me. My rage deflated, and the fight in me turned back to sheer anguish. A long sob quivered out from the depths of my chest. I slumped back into his arms.

  “I think you both should leave.” Lars rolled me to face his chest, my tears splashing onto his shirt.

  They hesitated.

  “Go.” I craned my neck to look at the pair in the eyes.

  Tears fell from my mother’s face, grief raw as she sobbed. Eli was stone.

  “Now!” I screeched so gutturally it hurt my throat.

  Lily took a few steps back, still not wanting to leave. I could not take much more.

  “Do as she asked,” Lars spoke, “or I will expel you from the property myself.” My uncle’s embrace was now the only thing keeping me upright.

  With a swift nod Eli pivoted and picked up West, cradling him in his arms. He gave me one last look over his shoulder before he jumped into the brush and disappeared into the thick evening shadows.

  Lily choked back a cry and pressed her hand against her mouth. Now not needing to “hide” from me anymore, she shifted to her little red fox form. The top Rimmon gave her fell into a puddle on the ground. The animal turned with its head lowered, trotting off toward the property line. Her orange-brown eyes looked back at me one last time. With a soft whimper she, too, slipped into the forest.

  I wanted them to go, but now they actually had, my heart burst like a dam. My legs sagged underneath me. Lars eased me to the ground, never letting go of me. A river of agony tore into me. I wailed in pain and howled with grief.

  Far in the distance, a pained roar of an animal split the air shaking the trees and earth beneath me.

  SIX

  Rain pummeled the glass door. Gray and black clouds rolled across the late afternoon sky, drowning the earth with water. I stared absently, watching the wisps of condensed air weave and reel around each other angrily. Several weeks prior, the weather would have matched what was going on within me; now I was numb. I lay on my side in a ball, covers to my chin, watching the world move outside my doors.

  “I cannot take her unmoving anymore.” A tiny foot tapped impatiently on my shoulder. “It has been three weeks. I will remake the bed with her in it if I have to. The sheets need to be changed. They are disgusting.”

  A snort came from another small figure on my other shoulder. “Good luck.” Cal, true to his word, had found me. Lars did not question or react to the little pixie’s appearance at my bedside. He even acknowledged Cal, talking to him when I would not answer.

  I hadn’t spoken more than a couple of words since Eli and my mom left the property. Lars put me to bed after my collapse, and I hadn’t moved much since. Depression was so entrenched in my bones it ached to even walk to the bathroom. Food had lost its appeal. Marguerite had gotten me to sip soup, which she enhanced with rich cream and butter to keep weight on me. It still didn’t do enough. I looked gaunt and sickly, my hair stringy and unkempt. My problem was I didn’t care—about anything. The simplest things would exhaust me. Not even the thoughts of my friends stirred anything in me—except hopelessness.

  Cal curled his arm around Sinnie’s shoulder, which he had to flutter up to achieve. He stood only six inches; she was a foot tall. “My sweet dessert, you know how much I adore your determination, but I think you need to let this one go.” Sinnie had been trying to change my bed for a week now during the small windows of time when I went to the bathroom.

  Sinnie swatted his arm off. Cal had been trying to charm her since the day he arrived, with no luck. “I will do no such thing, little man.”

  Cal flew to me and landed on my neck. “Sinnie, you are a woman of honor and duty, I get that. But, this one ...” His tiny fist knocked on my head. “She is cracked like an egg. Mad as a tree troll. Fractured, crazy, loony ... a splintered branch ... You will not out-determine her.”

  “We will see.” Sinnie stomped her foot on my arm. “You hear what I’m saying, girl?” She poked at me. “I will remake your bed by the end of today even if I have to push you out of it myself.” With that she vanished.

  Cal leaned against my head and sighed dreamily. “What a woman.”

  I blinked in response, most of my attention still on the storm outside my bedroom.

  “So ... you know he’s back again?” He didn’t have to say who. There was no need. I didn’t have the will or energy to tell Cal that Eli had never left. He had been prowling the edge of the compound’s border since the day I ordered him away. A few times I had seen the slick black body pacing through the trees. I’d become accustomed to the sensation of Eli’s blood in me. I don’t know what it would be like not to feel him. His presence was there, but it was white noise in the background. I didn’t even take pleasure knowing he was cold and wet. My hurt went deeper than petty victories could cure.

  “Lars let him into the compound last night. Did you know?” Cal sat, using the slope of my shoulder as his back rest.

  I did. My hearing and smell had sharpened. More proof, without my powers, the Dark Dweller was taking over.

  “They were in Lars’ office for over two hours. I tried to listen, but that damn woman, Marguerite, shooed me away.”

  Over the weeks Lars began to tolerate Eli’s constant presence. Even Rimmon and the other guards left him alone, acting as if he were part of scenery as they made their nightly rounds. My hearing and eyesight had caught the guards acknowledging him, greeting him as they passed the terrifying beast at the border of the land. His green eyes glowed from the depths of the forest, watching me.

  Every once in a while spikes of hatred hit me at the sight of him, but then the emptiness would claim me. I wasn’t quite sure why Lars accepted his presence in the compound. If I didn’t know better, I would say Lars possessed some empathy for him. Only a couple of nights ago, I saw Rimmon head to where Eli camped out.

  “Hey, Dweller?” Rimmon’s deep voice boomed across the property and into my hypersensitive ear canal. “The King would like to talk to you.”

  “What about?”

  I automatically pressed my lids together, hearing the familiar rough timbres of Eli’s voice. It rattled my chest and caused it to ache.

  “Not my concern. Says he wants Marguerite to give you something to eat and then you’re to meet him in his office. He also requested you shower before entering his house. You smell.”

  What? Lars was letting him into the house? Having Marguerite feed him?

  “Better stop sweet talking me, R. Gets lonely out here.” Eli’s tone was flirtatious.

  “Shut up, Dweller. Personally, I’d sooner kill you, but the King would like to see you first.” Rimmon’s voice was tight. Humor wasn’t something he understood. “Now follow me. There is a shower in the training room.”

  I jerked up in bed, my head spinning at the sudden movement. Why was Lars encouraging Eli? Why did he want to talk to him?

  The heaviness of my depression curled my body back onto my pillow with an angered cry. I picked up my water glass and threw it against the wall. Glass shattered into thousands of pieces, tumbling to the floor. Water dripped in pools down my wall. It did not make me feel better.

  Rotting fury molded in my stomach. How could Lars have sympathy for someone who helped butcher my mother and the woman he had loved?

  My mother. To think of my mom and not have Lily’s image in my mind unsettled me.

  Aisling. My biological mother. A royal Fay who died to protect me. I didn’t even know what she looked like. I had only a fractured image and a feeling from a dream to hold onto. All those times when Faes told me I looked like my mom, I wondered what they were talking about. Lily and I didn’t look anything alike. I had believed they saw something I didn’t. My nose and lips, the red streaks in my hair—all those things must have come from Ais
ling. I had grown up thinking I had a “normal” mother and father. The man I thought was my biological father hadn’t been around, but I had believed him alive somewhere out there in the world, when actually I was an orphan. Lily had raised me. Loved me. I did see her sacrifice, but my anger struggled to let me forgive her. Her terror of “losing me” caused her worst fear to come true. Thinking of her triggered a wave of guilt to crash over me. I clenched my jaw and pushed the emotion away.

  I was done crying.

  “Hey, girlie, are you hearing me at all?” Cal pulled on my earlobe, bringing me to the present. “Hellooooooo. Hello. Hello,” he echoed in my ear, pretending it was a vast cave. He wasn’t far off.

  “Yeah, I’m getting tired of your constant blabbing all the time, anyway. Why don’t you lie there like a lump of rotting goblin dung, and I’ll talk.” He leaned into my shoulder, patting it. “Wow, you’re really good at ignoring me. Sooooo anyway ... this morning, you know when you lay there so distraught with the thought of me leaving? I went to the ... the other place.” He, like others, thought if they limited mentions of the word Dark Dwellers or Eli, it would help me recover faster. “They still haven’t tracked Lorcan. He keeps moving around, keeping one step ahead. They found his last hiding spot, but the group had moved on by then. Simmons is out searching for her every day. Don’t worry. We’ll find her,” Cal said. Everyone was out trying to find Kennedy. The fact I wasn’t looking myself should have had me feeling ashamed. I was void of emotion.

  “Also, I figure you would like to know I took the liberty and went to the Otherworld to check on your father ... Mark.”

  My eyes finally darted from the window down to my shoulder. Mark was the only light in my darkness. My heart wrenched in my chest. The torrent of guilt I still felt at hurting him shredded at my soul. People probably kept thinking: “You have so much power, why don’t you destroy the Queen and get it over with?” If it were only that easy. My powers could not kill her, but they could kill and hurt everyone else around. If I ever got the sword back and I found myself alone with her, I would not hesitate. I would forgo my life if I could stop her and all the pain and destruction she caused.

  I had barely come to terms with Ryan since he could never return to earth. Now I took on the blame of Mark. Mark’s job, life, and everything else were gone. His life existed now in the Fae world. All because he came into our family, because he fell in love with Lily. With me.

  “Your ... mother ... Lily ... is there with him.” He didn’t know what to call her either. “Lars thought it better if your friend and father had more security. So Torin and Thara moved in as well. They can help Lily and Castien keep them safe.”

  It gave me some relief. The more protection the better. Actually, it was the only place Torin could go. He wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the Dark Dwellers, and he couldn’t go wandering around Earth or the Otherworld unprotected. The Queen would still love to get her hands on him. To torture him until he shattered in unrepairable fragments. She had chipped away at Torin pretty good the last time she held him prisoner.

  At first I had been amazed Torin hadn’t tried to talk to me through our minds or even pull me into a dreamscape, but I finally realized when the Queen took my abilities, she took all those Fay “perks,” including the bond between us. I should have been grateful nothing tied Torin to me anymore, and I did not have to worry about pulling Eli into a dreamscape, except I felt lonelier. Isolated. Sorrow carved me into a hollow shell. Desolation was the only thing filling my vacant soul.

  My lids squeezed together.

  “Some other good news.” Cal sat up, forcing a joyful tone. “Looks like the Queen is not out hunting you. Well, not blatantly anyway.”

  She didn’t need to be. She had my powers, and she had the sword. Granted she still wanted me dead and would love to find me, but she could wait for Samhain—the time when the two worlds collided, when the barrier between the two was at its weakest. She planned to break down the wall between them for good. It was less than two months away, or it was when I had last been coherent of time.

  Someone knocked and opened the door at the same time. “Hey, little Dae.” Nic’s voice came through the darkened room. He closed the door behind him. Picking up from where we left off, Nic visited me every day before he left for the night to head out on his Incubus job. He sometimes found his way to my room when he got home from his adventures. Nic was breathtaking, a Spanish god drenched in sexuality. The moment he even got near, you felt like ripping your clothes off. Being a Dae, I was technically immune to his charms, but I still had not been able to deny my attraction to him. I wasn’t dead.

  Until now.

  He crawled into the bed behind me like he always did, his arms wrapping around my waist. But I just lay there, indifferent to his hands or lips nibbling at my neck.

  Cal smacked at his arm. “Hey! We were talkinʹ.”

  Nic snorted. “I am here not to talk.”

  I knew Nic liked me, but he also saw me as a challenge. Especially now. But I was numb ... broken. His hand rubbed my leg methodically, which was actually soothing. I felt tired, and even as he kissed the back of my neck, I drifted off to sleep.

  My eyelids rose, and I took in the dimly lit space. I batted my lashes trying to clear my vision. There was no way I should be here. Bars lined in a continuous pattern down the long dark corridor. Wet, moldy straw clumped the floor in each cell and dotted the stone walkway in-between.

  “What the hell?” I mumbled to myself. Why was I in the Queen’s dungeon?

  “Fire has come.” A voice came down the aisle.

  “Grimmel?” I took tentative steps, following the sound. In the murky corner, the dwarf slept in a rickety wooden chair; the raven stood on his shoulder. “How are you doing this? I thought I could no longer dreamscape or dreamwalk?”

  “Grimmel guides all minds.” Ravens were powerful dream guides, so he was pulling me into a dreamwalk. He could interact with people in dreamwalks as if they were as real to him as the people actually in the room. No one else would be able to see me, but he could.

  “Fire is faint and weak. No flame. No spark.”

  “Hey, now.”

  “Build fire. Blaze and burn.”

  “Can you tell me what you want and why I am here?”

  “Dark Knight escape.”

  “Yes. Thank you for your help, Grimmel. West is going to live because of you.”

  “Silence.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was telling me to be silent or now West was gone, it was quieter.

  “Help baby escape.” Grimmel’s black beady eyes bore into me. He had adored my mother and helped her get me and Lily out of the castle. “Flame goes out. All for naught. Will lead to destruction.”

  “What do you want me to do about it, Grimmel? She has the sword. She has taken my powers.”

  “Baby cry too much.” He tilted his head. “Fight fire.”

  “How?”

  “Seek. Want.”

  “Damn you Fae. Can’t you ever simply say what you mean without the riddles?”

  Flapping his wings, Grimmel adjusted his grip on the dwarf’s shoulder. “You will know.”

  With a shove of energy, I tumbled back to my bedroom in Lars’ compound.

  When I woke, Nic had left. My mind flipped through the conversation with Grimmel, leaving me restless, and even more exhausted. I had no idea what he thought I would know. The raven was bat-shit crazy, so I pushed it from my mind.

  The blinking of the clock told me it was nearing dawn. Sleeping twelve or more hours at a time was nothing new to me. Sleep was what I did most of the time. The overcast sky lightened as I continued to drift in and out of slumber.

  My room lights flicked on, and my eyes popped open.

  “Get. Up.” Alki’s voice boomed through the silent room. He was dressed in his training outfit of black sweats and black tank top. His body-builder physic rippled through the fabric. With his severe haircut, sharp Asian features, and his muscular form,
he was intimidating. Not someone I’d want to meet in an ally.

  I jerked with surprise but otherwise did not respond.

  “I said get up.” He headed for my bed when I didn’t react. “We are training today. You are weak, both in mind and in body, especially without your magic. Now rise. I will not ask again.”

  “Go away,” I grumbled, my mouth finding it hard to move after weeks of not speaking. “I don’t have my powers anyway. What does it matter?”

  Alki grabbed my arm and with a sharp yank pulled me from my bed. I fell to the floor with a thud. “You can still fight. Your body is a tool. And the Dark Dweller is still in you.”

  “Leave me alone.” I curled in a ball on the floor.

  He scooped me up. “I told you I would not ask again.”

  “Let me go.” I feebly pushed against his unyielding chest. He carried me downstairs like I weighed nothing.

  “I am not training,” I protested. “You might as well put me down.”

  He did not respond and continued carrying me outside. I wore only a tank and pair of sweats, so the chilly morning brought goose bumps to my flesh.

  The hot summer was now bleeding into a nippy fall. Leaves of crisp oranges, yellows, and browns sprinkled the ground, most still clung desperately to the trees, holding on to their last bits of life. Time in the Otherworld was such a strange concept. During my first visit, I felt I had only been there for a day or two, and it had been three years. My time spent there recently didn’t feel much different, but when we returned it had only been a month. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to it. As most Fae, it did what it wanted when it wanted.

  “Alki, set me down.” My voice grew louder and sturdier. It took me a moment to realize he wasn’t taking me to the training room. Before I could ask, he rounded the corner and stopped at the pool.

  “Noooo.” The word came out too late. I felt the release of his arms as I plunged into the freezing water. It felt like a bolt of electricity zapped my heart. Everything in me woke up, coming back to life. I breached the surface with a gasp.